Fear in the Night: Silencing the Anxiety that Keeps You Awake

Jerusha: I’m so pleased to introduce you to Angela Mills, a new friend I had the pleasure of meeting at a writer’s retreat this spring. Angela is offering a signed print copy of her nonfiction book, Bless Your Husband, to one of you! Leave a comment after Angela’s encouraging post to enter the giveaway!

By Angela Mills

It’s been a hard week for me, with little sleep. I’m going through a difficult thing and getting through the day is hard. Getting through the night is harder.

Once at a Bible study, I heard a woman say something that changed my life. “If I wake up in the middle of the night, I try to give those hours to God. Those are His hours.” I can still hear her now.

So when I find myself awake yet again, I tell myself, Alright. Give this time to God. Except I have nothing to offer. Nothing to give. Nothing.

Then I see that in this time of sorrow, He isn’t asking for anything from me. No, He hasn’t kept me awake so I could give to Him, He’s set that time aside so He can give to me. 

When I try to praise Him and words escape me, songs I learned long ago will come into my head and provide the words for me. When I pray and can’t seem to get past that one imploring prayer I find myself returning to over and over, a scripture will come to mind and I’ll pray His words instead of mine.

When I get stuck trying to produce a litany of thanks, and my mind wanders instead to my troubles and grief, I remember the devotion I read the day before that reminded me to ‘thank God for my problems,’ and suddenly I’ve got a lot to thank Him for. Both for past troubles where I can see now how He was working, and present troubles in which I can trust that He is working.

And when in the middle of all of this, a wave of weakness washes over me and I lose it, I know, I just know, that He hears my cries and loves me.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
    and delivers them out of all their troubles. – Psalm 34:17

The temptation in these dark, early hours when anxiety rules my mind is to get my phone out and distract myself with entertainment or work. Or to escape into a fictional world, watching reruns on Netflix or digging into a novel. Or to get up and organize my kitchen cabinets and mop the floors. Something. Anything.

Anything to escape the hours of quiet war as I lay alone with my thoughts and allow myself to feel the panic and worry that I’ve been stuffing down to get through the hard days. 

But the truth is that none of those distractions really work. My mind, no matter how entertained, will start to wander and question and hurt.

I know this because I’ve given into the temptation of distraction. In fact, more times than not, I’ve opted for distraction.

But then, I’ll have one of those nights where I’m finally just still. I finally don’t try to steel myself and stop the tears.

I finally surrender and let Jesus take care of me, and I end up wondering why I’ve been so silly and not done this from the very beginning.

And the things that I’ve known and believed intellectually to be true, actually start to happen.

Joy comes when I sing the Psalms of my childhood. Peace is delivered, and I feel settled inside, a little less raw.

Faith and trust begin to mean something to me besides the things I’m striving for. They become the things inside of me, which is its own little miracle.

Everything is not suddenly rainbows and sunshine. Waves of sorrow and confusion and worry still pass over me. But there is a deep sense of trust that God’s got this.

I want to continue to keep these sleepless nights set aside for God. Even so, I kind of hope that these nights, too, shall pass. Because what I still yearn for is sleep.

But until that happens, I will take comfort in knowing that, with God, I can make it through this day and the night to come.

Does anxiety or another kind of fear keep you awake at night? How can you use that awake time to build your faith and trust in God? Please share!

Photos by Linda Xu, Jp Valery, and Aaron Burden on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

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Angela Mills is the author of Bless Your Husband: Creative Ways to Encourage and Love Your Man. She’s been married to her best friend for 19 years and is a homeschool mom to two daughters.

Angela runs a private Facebook group for thousands of Christian wives and has written over 60 articles online for various websites. Angela is passionate about following Jesus, helping marriages thrive, and encouraging women to intentionally love their husbands and children.

When not writing or teaching or playing with her grandsons, Angela loves to bake or escape with a good book.

Connect with Angela at angelamillsbooks.com or on her Facebook author page. She’d also love to see you in her private Facebook group for wives.

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Angela is giving away one signed print copy of her book to one of you! Simply leave a comment below for your chance to win! (Giveaway ends Sept. 9, 2019; winner must have continental U. S. mailing address.)

Bless Your Husband: Creative Ways to Encourage and Love Your Man

Sometimes, choosing to love your husband is hard. Whether you’ve been married one year or 31 years, chances are he’s done things that have frustrated you, angered you, hurt you, or flabbergasted you.

But after arguing over how to load the dishwasher yet again, you might be wondering how you can show him that you really do love him.

In as little as 15 minutes a day, you can do something meaningful for your husband and grow in your faith.

From washing his car to writing a positive post about him on social media to watching his favorite movie with him, these pages are full of creative, simple, and interactive ideas on how to bless your husband.

You’ll discover daily Scripture verses, inspirational readings, and journaling prompts to encourage you as well!