Even If: Choosing Faith Over Fear When the “What If” Happens

Jerusha Agen Fighting Fear 42 Comments

Jerusha: I’m so excited to have blogger and super-powered book reviewer, Carrie Schmidt, as my guest today! In honor of Carrie’s amazing support for Christian fiction, I’m giving away a free print copy of Janice Cantore’s Drawing Fire to one of you! Simply leave a comment below for your chance to win. And please join me in giving Carrie a big, Fear Warrior community welcome!

By Carrie Schmidt

Cancer.

That word sends fear quaking through most of us, doesn’t it?

It’s a word, a diagnosis, that can shake even the most stalwart fear warrior.

Because it’s always one of our ‘worst fears’.

And when our worst fears become reality, we feel unprepared no matter how often we’ve worried over the possibility.

This past year has been a year of worst fears for me.

My dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma cancer in July, and while he’s currently doing well there have been a lot of scary days in between.

In October, my sweet mom-in-law was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and passed away four weeks later. Too soon. Too quickly.

Then, just this June, our faithful dog/sidekick Zuzu died from a tumor on her spine. We loved her for eleven years, and it still wasn’t long enough.

To say we’ve been left reeling more than once is an understatement. Grief, hurt, loss, fear—a range of emotions, all intense.

And yet…. God.

He is right there in the fire with me. He is there when I’m bowed under with grief. He is there when my old enemy fear rises up and tries to take control again. He is there when things are going really well. He is there when things are not going well at all.

He is there. And He is good.

FireAnd yet, I’m not going to lie. This past year has been so very tough. I can’t even adequately put my emotions into words because they still run too deep.

Even still… He is there. Even still… He is good.

This, my sweet friends, is my single greatest weapon in my fight against fear—allowing myself to rest in the security of those six words.

He is there. He is good.

If you haven’t yet listened to MercyMe’s hit song “Even If” you really must. This has been on auto-repeat many days around here. The song’s title comes from the story in Daniel 3, of Daniel’s three friends who are thrown into a powerfully-fiery furnace by an angry king. Nebuchadnezzar gives them one last chance to worship him as a god, and they say without hesitation, “Our God is able to deliver us, and He can. But even if He does not, our hearts are His alone.” (my unofficial paraphrase)

Even if our worst fears become reality.

Even if death appears to win.

Even if He leaves the mountain you’re facing unmovable.

Even if…. He is there. And He is good.

It’s not easy to say. Even now, as I type those words, I want to take them back. My heart whispers, No, Lord. Not that. Please don’t let that worst fear come to pass.

Because you see, in my own strength, I can’t embrace that ‘even if’ attitude. That resolve is something that comes from the strength only Jesus gives.

I believe! Lord, help my unbelief! – Mark 9:24

And He does.

And because He does help my unbelief, it can be well with my soul when it is not right with my world.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

    I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

– Isaiah 43:1b-3a

He knew we would struggle, that this world will present us with many problems and fears and questions. But He did not abandon us to face the fiery furnace of life alone. He is right there in the middle of our tumult, and we can cling to the promise that He is good even in the “even if.”

When the waters of fear threaten to crash over me, He is there. He is good.

When it feels like I’m drowning in grief, He is there. He is good.

When my own fiery furnace looks impossible to survive, it will not consume me. Because He is there. And He is good.

How do I know? Because He died for me, and He died for you. He paid the ransom for our souls and arrested death so it no longer has power over us. The One who calms the storm also knows you by name and calls you His.

Fear can do its worst, but Jesus has already outmatched it. And one day He will make all the sad and scary things untrue.

Have you seen God bring you through fire? Have you felt His presence and known His goodness in the midst of trials? Please share in the comments below!


Carrie Schmidt is an avid reader and book reviewer who loves Jesus and THE Story a whole lot.

A former reviewer for RT Book Reviews, she is now the ‘book girl’ at Hope For Women magazine. She is also a co-founder of the Christian Fiction Readers’ Retreat and JustRead Publicity.

Carrie lives in Kentucky with her husband Eric and on the internet at ReadingIsMySuperPower.org.

Connect with Carrie at her website, and on Facebook and Twitter.


Carrie Schmidt is not only a super-powered reader, but also a SUPER supporter of Christian fiction through her popular blog, the Christian Fiction Readers’ Retreat, and JustRead Publicity. In honor of her efforts to promote and foster enjoyment of Christian fiction, I’m offering one free print copy of Janice Cantore’s Drawing Fire to one of you who leaves a comment below! (Winner to be randomly selected on August 20, 2018 and notified via email; winner must have continental U.S. address.)

DRAWING FIRE

One case from her past defines homicide detective Abby Hart.

With a possible serial killer stalking elderly women in Long Beach, California, Abby’s best lead is Luke Murphy, an irritating private investigator who saw a suspect flee the scene of the latest homicide. When Abby discovers that the most recent victim is related to the governor, she’s anxious to talk to him about a cold case that’s personal to her—one Luke is interested in as well.

As she learns more about the restaurant fire that took her parents’ lives years ago, Abby discovers why Luke is so invested in finding the ones responsible. The more they uncover, though, the more questions they have. Can Abby find peace without having all the answers?

Comments 42

  1. Carrie, thank you so much for those words! I, myself, have been through a challenging and scary year. Dad passed away in December from pancreatic cancer. I hated to see him suffer, but I watched him praise the Lord through the whole thing. In his last days we watched his body deteriorate until he soul was no longer with us, but even then he raised his hands to praise the Lord. I weep just thinking about that.
    What I realized through that terrible time was that because of Dad’s faith even until the end, those of us that remain are better able to handle the grief and sorrow. I am so much more empathetic to those who have been diagnosed with the “c-word” and I think the Lord that I can minister to others. I only pray that if I were to be diagnosed I would be able to trust the way you described, and the way dad lived, so that those that follow after me would be changed in some way.
    Blessings, Carrie!

  2. These words from your post are just sitting in my heart now:
    And yet…. God.

    I have a dear friend who has suffered great loss this past year, and she too has clung to the Mercy me song “Even If”. It can sound easy, but I know it’s not. Thanks for sharing your story and giving us all a perspective to lean on when our own furnaces are heating up.

    1. God is so sweet, isn’t He? Even when life isn’t…. There have been many moments when I’ve sobbed through that song, but in the process it became my fight song <3 Thanks, Jamie!

  3. our ways are not His ways… oh, dear friend, how true and precious your words!! this, i believe, is our testimony – walking through the fire and clinging to Him (though truly, it is He who clings to us… )
    thank you for such a raw and transparent post! what an encouragement to each of us.

    1. Post
      Author

      Congratulations, Pat! You’re the randomly selected winner of a free print copy of Janice Cantore’s Drawing Fire! I’ll contact you via email with more details. Thanks for joining the conversation at the FW blog!

  4. I am so sorry about your loss of your mother-in-law and you dog. Dogs are like family as I know. Hope your Dad continues to do okay. god bless you all.

  5. Lovely post Carrie. Romans 8:38&39. Nothing can separate us from the Love of God in Christ our Lord!
    Blessings!

  6. I was so encouraged by reading this!
    My Dad was also diagnosed with cancer last year. It felt like walking through the fire.
    Right now we are praising God because he is cancer free, but we are also aware that that could change at any time, and so trying to be more intentional about spending time with him.
    I love those verses in Isaiah. Thanks for sharing!
    And…. I’d also love to read this book! 🙂

    1. oh Rosalyn, I’m so sorry you have had to walk through the same fire <3 Praising God for your good news & praying that He will step in front of any 'what if' darts that the enemy tries to throw at you.

  7. JERUSHA, thank you for sharing Carries faith and witness of Jesus.
    CARRIE, for all you have been through and holding on to your faith is a real inspiration for me. My daddy passed away five years ago from Mesothelioma. Our Lord Jesus is what carried me through it. I was (am) so angry that he had to go through it. He was in perfect health at the age of 82 and the next thing we know he’s got cancer. I am mad, because it was through negligence of the navy, that he got it. Their living quarters was covered with asbestos. But this is where God brought comfort. When he was diagnosed with it, we prayed he would go fast so he would not have to suffer long. And we prayed he would have the least pain possible. It was three months and it was the last week that he was in terrible pain. I praise God for answering our prayers and for the strong faith my daddy had. He was still praising God while he was dying. He was a real inspiration to all who knew him.
    I wish he was still here, but that is my selfish wish because he is in the arms of Jesus. The place he longed to be. His only regret would have been he wanted to be here for the rapture.
    My best friends husband is about to die of cancer. One of her daughters cannot understand why all the prayers for healing weren’t answered the way she wanted. I told her mother to tell her that God appointed man seventy years. He has surpassed that, and we will all go some day. Plus her dad will be healed, the ultimate healing we all long for.
    I didn’t mean to get so lengthy, but you touched my soul and I felt I needed to share my stories.
    Thank you so much for your willingness to share and your faith in times of good and bad. You come across as having a sweet spirit and special lady.
    Blessings
    Kathy

    1. Oh Kathy, I’m so sorry. What a tough few years you’ve had. Those are not easy questions, are they? And we may never know exactly why until we are in His Presence. But until then we can rest in the truth that He is with us and He is good. Some days I just have to say it out loud to remind myself 🙂 I will be praying for your best friend and her daughter <3

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      Author

      Kathy, I’m so grateful God led me to invite Carrie onto the blog. Her story in this post and her encouragement to have faith through any trial is such an inspiration to me, too! I’m so sorry for the suffering you have gone through in your life with loss and grief. Such a painful thing to face death of loved ones in this life. I praise the Lord that you and your dad are in Christ and will be together with Him in eternity! Thank you for sharing your story, Kathy.

  8. Cancer is scary, for sure! A friend of my husband’s just passed away last night after losing her battle. But she is with the Lord. She had a bright testimony. Everyone who knew her loved her. I think getting cancer sometimes. I’ve had family members and friends fight and win as well as lose. It’s hard to lose those we love. It’s hard to find a purpose, but that’s when it’s time to put your faith to work. Faith isn’t for what we can see, it’s for what we can’t see. And a life lived by faith is a life that will be honoring to God and rewarded by Him.

    1. It definitely is scary, Karen. And I love what you said about your friend’s testimony. Paul tells that God is faithful to complete the good work He started in us – even beyond our death, until the day Jesus returns. Isn’t that an encouraging thought?!?

  9. Carrie,

    Thanks for your encouraging words. My year has been difficult with my 84 year old mother doing downhill health wise. It is hard to remember God is with us in every single situation, the good, the bad and the ugly.

    Thanks for the reminder!

    1. Oh Linda, that’s so tough. And it IS hard to remember that He is with us & He is good when the ugly parts of life overwhelm us. Thankful that this doesn’t make it any less true <3 I will be praying for you as you care for your mom.

  10. Thank you for sharing your heart with us Carrie. Yes He is our anchor in the storms. God has been with me through my two cancer journeys and I know He l loves me with an everlasting love.

  11. Thanks for the encouraging post, Carrie. We all know so many people affected by cancer, so your words are a comfort to so many, myself included. Thank you for sharing.

  12. Loved these thoughts, Carrie, even though I REALLY hate cancer. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have the knowledge that we’ll see our loved ones again in the hereafter–that I can be with my family forever. Thanks, my dear BFFF!

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