Spring. A time to celebrate new life. But I was watching the grim march of death.
Our twelve-year-old golden retriever was dying, and I was helpless to stop it. I could only make him comfortable and sit by his side as he took his last breaths.
He had been part of our family for nearly two years, since we adopted him from a rescue on another spring day. We knew he was a senior and might not have long to live, but we didn’t fully understand how quickly he would charm his way into our hearts with his lively personality and insatiable joy for life.
Losing him was hard. Hard enough to make me question, as I’ve done before, whether or not I could go through this again. Anyone who has lost a loved one, either human or four-legged, knows what I’m talking about.
In fact, anyone who has loved knows what I’m talking about. If you love someone, you will experience pain. If not through death, then through betrayal, abandonment, illness, etc.
If you’ve experienced such pain, then maybe you’ve grappled with the same question that stalled me with my dog’s death. Can I do this again?
Some say that the joy of knowing and loving that individual is worth the pain you’ll experience. But if you have lost someone you hold extremely dear or been hurt by the most important person in your life, you can’t so flippantly say the same.
In the times when seemingly unbearable pain squeezed your heart until you thought you’d shatter, you may have wished, just briefly, that you had never known that loved one so you wouldn’t have to feel such pain.
My temptation is to avoid getting hurt by avoiding relationships altogether, whether with a pet or a person I might come to care about—in essence, to run from love. But what I would really be running from is the pain that comes with love in this world. And I’d be running because I’m afraid.
Fear of pain may sound reasonable, but God says something very different.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. – John 15:13
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Did you read those verses closely? Love is about the individual you love, not yourself. It’s about God and reflecting the love He has for us.
Love is a sold-out, sacrifice your dreams, dive on the grenade kind of commitment to serving someone else, not yourself.
What if God chose to withhold His love because He would get hurt? We hurt God all the time without a thought when we sin against Him or neglect our relationships with Him. And when we are hurt by the evil in this world, He weeps for us, feeling our pain with us as He holds us in His arms.
Knowing the cost, God loves us and tells us to love others.
Knowing the cost, Jesus Christ loved us enough to die on a cross to pay the penalty for our sins.
Then He rose from the grave, conquering death and fear once and for all.
Along with death, pain and heartaches of all kinds will one day be ”swallowed up in victory” (1 Cor. 15:54). In the meantime, we can follow Christ’s example and love to the extreme, even when it hurts, knowing we’ll make it through by clinging to the One who beat death and freed us from fear’s grip.
Has fear kept you from choosing to love someone? Does fear of getting hurt make you self-focused in relationships? Please share!
Comments 6
Wow, this was exactly what I needed this morning. In fact, I was just contemplating this very thought last night. I recently lost my very best friend of twenty years. My heart has broken, and I’ve been fearful of loving others. My love for my family scares me out of my wits because of the chance of losing them. This was a good word for me today, so thank you for sharing your heart! I will take this and meditate on it and listen to what God has to say to me about this situation.
Thank you for this blog. I’ve been so incredibly blessed many times by the words shared here.
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I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss, Hope. How heart-wrenching. I know the pain you must be feeling. And I know that fear of loving too much, oh, so well. I am so awed and thankful that God used this post for you today! I want to share with you an awesome thing that may encourage you more. I really struggled with what to post this week, and I was worried about it, but I repeatedly prayed that God would guide me to post just the right thing to reach someone with the message they needed, at the moment they needed it. Imagine the wonder I felt when reading your comment! This reminds me of how in control of our lives, even our losses and pain, God is, and reminds me that He brings comfort, hope, truth, and even joy when we need it. My imaginings of what my pain will be like when I lose a loved one are incomplete and terrifying, because I don’t factor in God’s grace and presence. He will provide and sustain us, every time. I pray trusting in that truth brings us the courage we need to keep loving. Thank you so much, Hope, for your encouragement today! I’ll be praying for you as you grieve and love.
Love this tender, yet powerful message, Jerusha. It is a risk to open our hearts to others – faithful canines included. When times comes to say goodbye to our 14-year-old Fox Terrier, I’ll be a wreck. That relationship is devoid of all the nonsense/momma drama ETC we experience with others that potentially leads to heart ache. I’m grateful for the reminder of Jesus’ choice to come, live and die on my behalf out of sheer, lavish love for me, knowing the risk to His heart.
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So beautifully said, Mary! You’re so right–Jesus is the ultimate example of selfless love, even knowing there will be horrific pain. I’m SO thankful, too, that He did that for us, and I don’t even begin to understand the half of what it cost Him. But I know we wouldn’t even be able to genuinely, sacrificially love at all if not for Him loving us first! Looked at from that angle, being able to love others is a privilege. And a blessing. I hope you have many more wonderful moments and years with your Fox Terrier. I’ve never had a dog for fourteen years. How wonderful that would be! (But the loss would be devastating.) Thanks for joining the conversation!
Beautiful, Jerusha. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. XO
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Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, Heidi! Good to see you here!