When in Doubt: Silencing Doubt to Conquer Your Fear

Jerusha: I’m delighted to introduce to you my friend and fellow author, Rebecca Ondov! Rebecca is offering a free print copy of her inspirational nonfiction book, Great Horse Stories, to one of you! So read on and leave a comment below for your chance to win!

By Rebecca Ondov

It was pitch black when I jolted awake, sitting straight up in bed. My heart raced. A cold sweat blanketed me. I gasped as horrifying thoughts battered me. What have I committed to? I’ll never be able to do that.

Gripping my blankets, I pulled them over my shoulders, curled into a fetal position, and stared wide-eyed into fear. The fear that God would show me how to conquer.

Earlier that day I’d been on cloud nine when I signed a contract with a publisher to write another book. I felt assured that it was exactly what God wanted me to do. It was every author’s dream. But for me it’d been a long journey.

More than a decade previously, God had led me to write. Promptly, I told God that He had the wrong girl. Writing made me feel so vulnerable. I resisted it with everything in me, writing just enough to “get by.” But slowly I started to enjoy the process and over time I had become a best-selling author.

I shivered and took a deep breath as doubt assailed me about this new commitment. This book wasn’t going to be like the others. It was to be a collection of inspirational horse stories from other people with a few of my own woven in. Stories that recounted God’s faithfulness.

The voice of fear accused me. Where are you going to find material for over two hundred and twenty pages of stories? You haven’t ever interviewed that many people. Who do you think you are? You’re not qualified.

For several sleepless nights I let those doubts shake me to the core of my being until one morning, out of exhaustion, I sat quiet before God. Tears leaked out the corners of my eyes as I poured out my heart to Him.

Then Peace overshadowed me. Love, like the love of a father for his hurting daughter, flowed through me.

In my spirit I was convicted, as if the Lord’s words to Peter when he tried to walk on water to reach Jesus could have been aimed at me.

Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:31

God had called me to write this book, and He would provide the stories. I just needed to trust Him.

In my mind I saw Noah standing on a hill, watching one pair of animals troupe to the ark, two by two. Then another pair would top the hill. Never more than one pair in sight at a time.

Did it become easier for me? No, not right away, but it gave me an opportunity to build my faith, and I also learned to recognize the tactics of the enemy, which never seem to change.

The enemy wanted me to question God and His Word. Not a new trick at all. In the beginning, the devil came to Eve and asked,

Did God actually say, “You shall not eat of any tree in the garden”? – Genesis 3:1

The enemy questioned who I thought I was. Another old trick he used on Jesus when in Matthew 4 the devil tells Jesus, “If You are,” then You will…

At the same time that the enemy questioned me, it was as if he was accusing me of being too big for my britches. After all, he wanted me to believe I was a nobody going nowhere—and with nothing to share. He was living up to Revelations 12:10 where God says that the devil is the accuser of the brethren.

All the questions and accusations from the enemy had a goal—to plant lies in my mind which would cause me to doubt. Then unbelief would usher in fear. Fear paralyzes. Fear stops people from doing what God told them to do.

I’m so glad that God showed me how to conquer this doubt-driven fear. Although it’s simple, it wasn’t easy.

The first thing He led me to do was to take responsibility for my thoughts. Nobody can force me to think one way or another. They can present options, but the choice was all mine. I had to consciously choose to meditate on God’s word and not entertain the lies the enemy was putting before me.

The second thing He led me to do was to meditate on Who He is. Not only is God the Creator of the universe, the One who hung the stars in place, but He’s also Abba Father, the One who lovingly created me in His image. He is Faithful and has empowered me to do what He’s asked me to do. That’s the best qualification of all.

The third thing He led me to do was to meditate on and speak His word. God’s word has so much power to kill doubt. That’s why when God gave Joshua the impossible task of leading the people into the Promised Land, He commanded Joshua to meditate on His word. What He had me do, when the enemy threw lies at me, was to memorize scriptures and speak them aloud over and over.

The fourth thing He led me to do was to move forward one step at a time by focusing on the task at hand. Even though He brought the stories for the book I was writing, they didn’t come all at once. Only two at a time. It was my job to write them and believe that He’d bring the next ones when I was ready for them.

By the time I got to the end of the book, I had too many stories. Great Horse Stories stampeded off the shelves to touch thousands of hearts with stories of His faithfulness.

And God gave me a precious gift. Through this opportunity to build my faith, I learned how to conquer the doubts that cause me to fear.

I pray that you, fellow Fear Warriors, will be able to use these strategies God gave me to identify the lies of the enemy and conquer doubt-driven fear.

Have you ever faced doubt and the fear it causes? Have you learned how to conquer doubt? Please share!

Photos by Hailey Reed, Hello I’m Nik, and Dave Ruck on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

---

From grizzly bears to forest fires—Rebecca Ondov’s life has been action-packed.  For 15 seasons she rode her horse through the rugged wilderness areas of Montana and lived in a tent (most years from May through December). During these years she led groups of people on horseback, packing their gear on mules, and worked for the US Forest Service as a wilderness ranger. Each day was life or death. Each day she witnessed God’s amazing power and grace.

Rebecca has captured these adventures to share them with you. Her goal is that through her books you become empowered with blazing faith—from the inside out.

Rebecca invites you to, “Saddle up with me and ride through the pages of my books for an adventure of a lifetime.”

To learn more about Rebecca, visit her website and connect with her on Facebook.

---