Jerusha: I’m so happy to welcome my dear friend Emily Conrad back to the FW Blog! This time, Emily is sharing some super exciting news–the release of her debut novel, Justice! I had the privilege to preview this Christian women’s fiction romance and, believe me, you will want to get your own copy! To celebrate, Emily is giving away a bag of special coffee to one of you who comments below. So don’t forget to join the conversation!
By Emily Conrad
Brooklyn is a pretty, sweet blonde who has faith I wish I had in the midst of terrible circumstances. I knew she had a fault of some kind, but whatever it was, I couldn’t see it.
I started paying more attention—not to fault-find, mind you, but to understand her.
Does that still not sit right with you?
I should admit Brooklyn is the heroine in my debut novel, Justice. If I was going to write a satisfying resolution for her (not to mention for readers!), I needed to understand her greatest flaw. So, like I said, I started to pay more attention, combing the pages I had written.
I noticed that though Brooklyn is sweet, she doesn’t have many friends, and new ones don’t come easily. Even with Jake, the hero of the story, she’s slow to open up. She hides her questions and struggles. She scrambles to make do in the circumstances she’s been given. When things get really bad, she questions herself more than anyone or anything else.
Then it hit me.
Brooklyn wants to be perfect. Well aware of her failures (or perceived failures), she keeps people at bay. Deep in her heart lingers the fear that her failures render her unlovable. Perfectionism isolates her from the things she needs most—love, support, healing.
I hadn’t seen it sooner is because perfectionism is 1) a master at camouflage, and, 2) hits close to home. I’m a perfectionist, too.
Because we’re called to good works and a life of following Jesus, it can be tricky sometimes to sort out which action is prompted by right motives and which is perfectionism rearing it’s overly-made-up head (because perfectionism’s head would never be ugly—that’s the whole point!).
Thankfully, perfectionism has symptoms that can help us recognize it for what it is.
As one of Brooklyn’s mentors says, “Whenever fear and insecurity are your leading reasons for doing something, those aren’t orders. At least not from God.”
Perfectionists are well-acquainted with fear and insecurity. How could we not be? We want to look perfect, but we know we’re not. We strap on masks of perfection, knowing as we do we’re bound to be found out. So we quiver and sweat behind those masks, leaving ourselves prone to drastic measures—including isolating ourselves—to keep our reputations safe.
But living under the lock and key of fear and insecurity isn’t really safe. They’re cruel masters we were never meant to serve.
There’s another way to live, as David, a slayer of perfectionism, wrote:
The Lord delivers and vindicates me!
I fear no one!
The Lord protects my life!
I am afraid of no one!
– Psalm 27:1, NET
Ease up, David. That’s a lot of exclamation points.
Admittedly, the punctuation and wording vary depending on your translation, but the point remains the same. We’re not supposed to let fear of people control us.
“I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.” – John 10:10b, NET
Jesus came to give us abundant life, not safe lives, not lives lived to gain acceptance from others.
We’re going to face trials, and we’re going to face rejection. Living in fear of these inevitabilities is pointless, especially because no trial or human rejection can touch our abundant life in Christ.
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage – I have conquered the world.” – John 16:33, NET
In Christ, we are free to abandon the façade of perfection. He knows all about the ugliness behind our masks and saw fit to die for us regardless. He longs to heal what we’ve been trying so hard to hide. He invites us to take courage. Imagine that! Courage!
Safe in His unconditional love, we can untie the masks handed to us by fear. We don’t have to worry about anyone else’s rejections because we’ve already secured the ultimate acceptance. We can recognize fear and walk the other way, straight into God’s healing, perfect love.
Instead of relying on a mask for protection, we have something much better:
He will surely give me shelter in the day of danger;
he will hide me in his home;
he will place me on an inaccessible rocky summit.
– Psalm 27:5, NET
When I trust in that safety in my own life, I’ve seen what happens next. Secure to operate in courage, I open up with others in ways that actually tends to strengthen our relationships instead of resulting in the rejection fear told me to expect. Not that it happens that way every time, but even when it doesn’t, God is good and He has a plan.
In Him, there’s hope for perfectionists, whether real or fictional. You and I and Brooklyn are all totally safe to take off our masks and move forward in courage.
Are you a perfectionist? How do you battle the fears that go with perfectionism? Please share!
Emily Conrad lives in Wisconsin with her husband and two rescue dogs.
She loves Jesus and enjoys road trips to the mountains, crafting stories, and drinking coffee. (It’s no coincidence her debut novel is set mostly in a coffee shop!)
She offers free short stories on her website and loves to connect with readers on social media. Visit Emily at her website and on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Jake thought he was meant to marry Brooklyn, but now she’s pregnant, and he had nothing to do with it.
Brooklyn can’t bring herself to name the father as she wrestles with questions about what her pregnancy means and how it will affect her relationship with Jake.
If Harold Keen, the man who owns the bookstore across from Jake’s coffee shop, has anything to do with it, the baby will ruin them both.
Where to buy
Christianbook.com
Amazon.com
BarnesandNoble.com
Since the hero of Justice is the owner of a coffee shop, Emily is giving away a bag of Salted Caramel coffee to one FW reader! To enter the giveaway, leave a comment below! (Winner randomly selected March 19, 2018; Winner must have Continental U. S. mailing address.)
Comments 27
Wow! If this isnt a God – incidence, i dont know what is…dealing with perfectionism, fear, approval of others…can’t wait to read your book! Heading over to order it right now! God bless!
Thank you so much, Rene! I hope the story blesses you! God is so good to work out the timing on sending us just what we need at just the right time! What a good Father! So glad you stopped by to read today 🙂
Thank you for sharing these freeing words- as a firstborn and pastor’s daughter I definitely am familiar with the type A perfectionist 😳…the novel sounds intriguing! Thanks for the giveaway!
Thanks for stopping by, Becky! I hope you enjoy the novel if you decide to check it out!
God has been impressing on me lately the importance of believers being vulnerable with one another. If not, we leave ourselves vulnerable to sin in ways we can’t imagine. I am in no area of my life a perfectionist, but I think in this area, we all are. Pride and a desire to look put together and in control are powerful motivators to put on that mask you describe.
Amen! Vulnerability is so important! Pride gets us in so much trouble, and in addition to hurting others with it, we hurt and isolate ourselves. So grateful for Jesus’s hand, removing masks and providing healing! Thanks for joining the conversation.
Beautiful words, Emily. Thank you. As a recovering perfectionist—but just when it comes to my writing. I think I’m just too tired to try to be perfect in other areas of my life anymore. 🙂 Right now the only real, tangible thing that helps with perfectionism is deadlines. And I’m so grateful for them!
Oh, that’s true! Deadlines have a way of cutting short attempts at perfection, and in that way, they can be so freeing. Thanks for reading, Sharon!
Confession is a command for a reason. It helps us both to defeat perfectionism and to make meaningful honest connections with other believers. I think you hit the nail on the head with Brooklyn’s motivations.
Yes, there really is so much good that comes from honestly sharing with each other! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Congratulations, Emily, on your debut novel. I am looking forward to the paperback, so I can purchase it for our church library.
I loved this line: perfectionism rearing it’s overly-made-up head (because perfectionism’s head would never be ugly—that’s the whole point!). Great post. Thank you.
Thank you, Anne! I’m really looking forward to the paperback release, too. I’m hoping it’ll feel like September is here in no time! I appreciate you looking into a copy for your church library. I hope the readers at your church enjoy the story!
Great post, Emily!
Thanks so much for sharing your new release with us.
Good luck and God’s blessings
PamT
Thanks, Pam! I appreciate your support!
Hi Emily,
Thanks for sharing with us. The older I get, the more I realize that I will never be perfect this side of heaven. And that’s okay, it’s too difficult to achieve.
Besides, crafting less-than-perfect characters is more fun.
Congratulations on JUSTICE!
Yes, absolutely! Imperfect characters are so much more entertaining! Thankfully, I can’t seem to write a perfect one, even when I try 😉 And amen–we will never be perfect this side of heaven. Thanks so much for visiting, Barb!
“Ease up, David. That’s a lot of exclamation points.”
LOL.
Yes, very relatable.
Ever notice the writers of the Bible don’t have to follow the same writing rules we do? Of course, in my comments, I’ve been using a lot of exclamation points, so… 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Ruth!
Emily, thanks for sharing. A good reminder to us writers who have long checklists before we submit a written work to our publishers. God loves us despite our misplaced commas. Cheers
Amen! We can strive for excellence without putting the pressure of perfectionism on ourselves, resting secure in God’s love!
Author
Congratulations, Marilyn! You’ve won Emily’s giveaway of a bag of salted caramel coffee! I’ll be in touch with more details via email. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Emily, those are some powerful words! I need to remind myself every day that I cannot live in fear. Fear keeps me from being vulnerable to those around me. It is that vulnerability that allows the Lord to work through my weaknesses and doubts to shine His acceptance and love THROUGH me to my friends and family.
Sometimes the Christian “world” impresses upon us that we are to be “perfect,” but I have to remind myself that the Lord NEVER used perfect people to accomplish His good work. It was those who were broken, humble, repentant, and weak that He used to accomplish His work.
Thank you again for that reminder!
Amen! You share such great, freeing truth here, Petra! In our weakness, He is strong!
Boy, am I ever guilty of this one! You could be describing me, with all of my perfectionistic tendencies that result in bad, isolationist actions, just to preserve the facade. Thanks for unmasking this fear. And congratulations on your novel!! Sounds like a great read.
I’m there in the trenches with you, MJ! Praying that through Christ, you’d be courageous in battling perfectionism! So glad you stopped by today!
Emily, wow. So grateful I stopped by. Needed your words today. Loved the line about perfectionism rearing its overly made head… and your comment about deadlines being freeing. Yes. So much yes. You are such a blessing! I’m thrilled for your release of Justice and can’t wait to get a paperback copy!
Thank you, Pearl! So glad God brought you to this post at the right time! You’ve been a blessing to me, too 🙂 As for the paperback, September can’t get here fast enough! 😉