Undone: When Anxiety Becomes Your Life

Jerusha: I’m delighted to introduce you to my friend and fellow author, Jennifer Hallmark! Jennifer has a new book release and is offering a Giveaway Extravaganza with great prizes, so be sure to check out the info and follow the link for the giveaway below. Please join me in giving Jennifer a big, Fear Warrior community welcome!

By Jennifer Hallmark

Yes, I see a Christian therapist.

I never imagined I’d need help outside of my relationship with God, my church, the Bible, and biblically-based self-help books.

But over a five-year period, I lost my best friend of over thirty years to cancer, my step-father to COPD, both of my children dealt with painful divorces, and last year my husband had two surgeries for cancer.

And then there was menopause. A word I don’t say out loud. No, I move a little closer and speak its name softly. Or make a joke about it. But it’s no joking matter.

When I arrived in my mid-forties, this mid-life change interrupted my life. And that’s putting it mildly. Hot flashes, anxiety, and mood swings occurred almost daily. The mood swings were so bad for this melancholy creative that I made an appointment with my OBGYN doctor and started taking estrogen. The medicine had side effects but overall it helped.

Ten years later, I decided to stop the medicine, hoping I’d made it through menopause. The onslaught of hot flashes disrupted my day-to-day activities once again. So I switched from the man-made estrogen to an all-natural product. My symptoms lessened, but I still struggled with anxiety.

I was undone. The anxiety that had built during this long-term, high-stress season had taken a toll on my physical body as I became more and more withdrawn and introverted. That’s how people with a melancholy personality deal with stress: they isolate, get lost in a book, become depressed, give up, and recount their problems.

That’s what I did.

A few weeks before my husband’s first surgery, I attended the Blue Lake Writer’s Retreat. I met and talked with a counselor there. She urged me to find a Christian counselor in my area, someone I could talk to about my worry and fear so I’d quit withdrawing and pretending nothing was wrong. I did, and it helped me tremendously.

Though I’ve not completely conquered my anxiety, here are steps I follow that have helped me and could possibly help you:

1. Pray. Often. I try to stop and lay out all my feelings, problems, and emotions to God often through prayer and song. Singing songs I can relate to really lessen the stress.
2. Move. I tend to want to curl up in a ball and read, ignoring everyone and everything else. At times like this, leaving my house is a positive. I take a walk, go window-shopping, or out for coffee to change the atmosphere. The other day, I was very anxious, so I left the house and drove to a coffee shop where I wrote several articles, including this one, while drinking a large vanilla latte.
3. Listen to good music. As I said above, praise music or instrumental movie soundtracks quiet my soul and have a healing quality.
4. Call a friend and/or consider therapy. Having someone who understands how my personality and life experiences affect me proved invaluable to my recovery. In between therapy sessions, I have a few good friends that have let me know I can talk to them or even visit when the stress is unbearable.

During this hopefully soon-to-end season of anxiety, therapy and self-care have come alongside my relationship with God and helped me battle the fear. It’s not an instant fix like I want but a day-to-day walk in this journey to my eternal home.

Anxiety might be part of our lives at times, but we shouldn’t let it rule. Hope, health, and freedom are found in God and others He provides to help us along the way.

Has anxiety become a constant presence in your life? Have you learned how to defeat anxiety? Please share!

Photos by Jachan DeVol, Verne Ho, and Sasha Freemind on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

Jennifer Hallmark writes Southern fiction and has published 200+ internet articles and interviews, short stories in several magazines, and has co-authored three book compilations. Her debut novel, Jessie’s Hope, released on June 17th, 2019.

When she isn’t babysitting or gardening, you can find her at her desk writing fiction or working on her two blogs.  She also loves reading detective fiction from the Golden Age and viewing movies like LOTR or Star Wars. Sometimes you can even catch her watching American Ninja Warrior.

Connect with Jennifer at her website, or on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Don’t miss your chance to enter the Giveaway Extravaganza Jennifer is offering below!

JESSIE’S HOPE

Years ago, an accident robbed Jessie Smith’s mobility. It also stole her mom and alienated her from her father. When Jessie’s high school sweetheart Matt Jansen proposes, her parents’ absence intensifies her worry that she cannot hold on to those she loves.

With a wedding fast approaching, Jessie’s grandfather Homer Smith, has a goal to find the perfect dress for “his Jessie,” one that would allow her to forget, even if for a moment, the boundaries of her wheelchair. But financial setbacks and unexpected sabotage hinder his plans.

Determined to heal from her past, Jessie initiates a search for her father. Can a sliver of hope lead to everlasting love when additional obstacles–including a spurned woman and unpredictable weather–highjack Jessie’s dream wedding?

June Blog Tour Giveaway Extravaganza

June 10^th-June 30th

Prizes include:

• $25 Amazon Gift Card
• $10 Starbucks Gift Card
• Print copy of Jessie’s Hope
• 2 Kindle copies of Jessie’s Hope

Go to Jennifer’s Rafflecopter Page to enter and possibly win one of five prizes to be drawn by Rafflecopter. Winners will be revealed on the author’s blog on July 1st.