The Time Factor: 4 Tips to Beat Your Fears in Times of Stillness and Change

Jerusha: I’m pleased to welcome Kim Wilbanks to the Fear Warrior Blog! Kim is graciously offering one free print copy of the story collection, Seek Shelter, to one of you! To enter the giveaway, simply leave a comment below. And please join me in giving Kim a big FW community welcome!

By Kim Wilbanks

Have you ever noticed how fear and anxiety sneak up on you when it’s quiet, when you have lots of time to think—like at 3:00 in the morning or when your once vibrant nest is empty?

I’ve been dealing with some mild anxiety for the past three or four years; the kind I haven’t experienced for many years. Early in my marriage, before I had children, I feared something was terribly wrong with me. I experienced severe headaches and dizziness. As it turns out, I had TMJ, a painful joint disorder. I don’t think it is a coincidence that I was teaching middle school at the time.

I had a respite from fear and anxiety for a good while and I have a theory about that. When I was in the midst of child-rearing, I didn’t have time for fear or anxiety. I was way too busy.

Room mother, soccer-mom, field-trip chaperone, Sunday School teacher, GA leader, youth worker—you name it, I was involved; preschool through high school. I even substitute taught at the school they attended.

The old feelings of fear and anxiety began to resurface when my firstborn was in the tenth grade. The swift passage of time hit me hard. We were going along fine, having a great life then, boom—he only had two years before he left the nest. How in the world did the time go by so fast?  I knew his sister would be following right behind him.

They both attended out of state universities and I worried about many things.

• Were they safe?
• Were they following the Lord like we taught them?
• Were they making good choices?
• Were they ever going to come home?

I learned an important lesson in the spring of 2011. My son was a student at The University of Alabama when a terrible tornado ripped through Tuscaloosa, Alabama. My daughter was a student at Samford University, about an hour away, also in the tornado’s path. I was at home in central Florida feeling utterly helpless as I listened to news reports of the massive storm and its resulting devastation.

I did some serious praying that day, completely releasing them to the Lord. I honestly did not know if I would see them again. It was probably the most frightened I have ever been in my life.

That was a turning point of sorts for me. I knew I had to let them go because there was not one thing I could do for them—except pray.  Thankfully, they were okay.

The college years were a practice run of sorts for the real empty nest. Things changed again once they graduated and got jobs. They both stayed in their college town and the realization set in—they’re not coming home.

The empty nest is very quiet, sometimes too quiet. I have lots of time to think. In the stillness I can over analyze just about anything from an unanswered text message to a slight pain in my side. But the good thing about the quietness is that it is great for Bible study and prayer, the basic foundations for dealing with fear and anxiety.

Here are some practical ways I deal with fear and anxiety when they threaten my peace:

1. Bible Study

Find a good Bible study group and join it. There are so many great resources available from something a little easy with little homework to more extensive studies that dive deeper into the word.

I’m going to do an online study this summer with Proverbs 31 Ministries. The point is—get in the Word, even if it’s simply reading through the scriptures on your own!

2. Scripture

Meditate on the promises found in Scripture. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 26:3. I will repeat this verse over and over when I feel anxiety creeping in.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

3. Jesus

Meditate on Jesus Himself. One of my biggest fears is being alone, but God’s word says we are never alone, He will never forsake us.

I like to imagine Jesus being right beside me. It may be in the seat next to me on the airplane or in the chair in the corner of the room where I am sleeping.

4. Prayer

When you take your mind off of yourself and intercede for others, your fears and anxieties are calmed. If I can’t sleep at night, I will often pray through the alphabet. Sometimes multiple times. What I mean is, pray for someone whose name starts with the letter A, then B and so on. There have many prayers for Queen Elizabeth.

It is not uncommon to experience fear or anxiety, particularly if you are transitioning into a new stage in life. You can’t stay there, though. Get into God’s Word, meditate on it, and spend time in prayer.

It will take the focus off of your fears and instead, turn it toward the Father who loves you so much.

Does anxiety attack you in times of stillness or change? Has Bible study or one of the other tips here helped you? Please share!

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Kim Wilbanks is a wife and a mother of two adult children who have flown the coop and left her with an almost empty nest. Her “baby” is a comical Welsh Corgi named Sir Higgins. A native Floridian, she enjoys frequent trips to the beach but also enjoys escaping the Florida heat in the mountains of North Carolina.

Kim is an active member of Church At The Mall in Lakeland Florida. She enjoys writing and is a member of Lakeland Christian Writer’s Club. Her blog is kimwilbanks.com Feathering My Empty Nest.

Reading, traveling with her husband of thirty-four years and crafting are favorite pastimes. A former U.S. History teacher, Kim is a history enthusiast and enjoys reading about history, historical fiction and visiting historical locations.

She serves on the Board of Florida Baptist Children’s Homes and One More Child, headquartered in her home town of Lakeland, Florida. Most importantly, Kim is a follower of Christ and a passionate student of God’s word.

Connect with Kim on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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Kim is giving away one print copy of the story collection, Seek Shelter! Leave a comment below for a chance to win! (Winner to be randomly selected July 16, 2018; winner must have continental U. S. mailing address.)

You will encounter at least one natural disaster in your lifetime—directly or indirectly. Your natural reaction will be to seek shelter. And yet, the very thing you seek can feel most elusive.

How do you cope in the wake of natural devastation? How can you recover? Will life ever be the same? Can any good ever come from something so bad?

Seek Shelter is a collection of inspirational stories by authors who have uncovered the good in the rubble of natural disasters. Hurricanes. Blizzard conditions. Wildfires. Tornadoes. From the most violent side of nature can sprout rest, comfort, and peace.

Seek Shelter offers you:
•Light-hearted stories to soothe your spirit
•Scriptures to settle your internal struggles
•Suggestions on how to stay encouraged after the storm

Some of the writers in Seek Shelter have had to seek physical shelter from natural disasters while others have not. But all have sought shelter from life’s storms in the warmth of family and friends—even strangers—and most of all, God.

Seeking shelter? Stay with us a while.