The Greatest Reward: Conquering Fear with the Ultimate Good

I’d never seen him so scared.

When I first picked him up from his long flight from breeder to us, it didn’t take long to notice that our fluffy Great Pyrenees puppy, Marshmallow, was one of the bravest and most confident dogs we’d ever had.

He showed no fear of the airport sounds and noises, our home when we arrived, or even our two giant adult dogs. Everything was fun and interesting to him.

To be sure he stayed that way, I invested a lot of time in his early life in taking him to new places and environments. I made sure we encountered new people on such trips and new objects, sounds, and smells.

He breezed through stairways, elevators, trucks and traffic, automatic sliding doors and the like without an ounce of fear. But then, he met the drinking fountain.

Depending on what part of the country you’re from, you might call it a bubbler or a sprinkler. This particular drinking fountain was attached to a wall inside a building he was visiting for the first time. Given his track record of fearlessness, I had him approach the drinking fountain quickly. He wasn’t afraid of it, so I thought we were fine.

Until I pressed the bar-shaped button to start the water.

Marshmallow jumped back, ears squeezed back to his head and tail tucked.

I think I was more surprised than he was by his reaction. But the fountain was particularly scary, I suppose. It made a fairly loud thunking noise every time it started up and then, as if that wasn’t frightening enough, water squirted in an arch out the top.

The two things combined were enough to rattle even brave little Marshmallow.

Thanks to years of working with Lancelot, our other dog famous for his struggle with fear, I knew what to do. I stopped operating the fountain and led Marshmallow away from the scene. I let him wander around other parts of the building, reinforcing his bravery there with treats.

By the time I brought him back to the drinking fountain, I was ready. He was scared just when he saw it at a distance this time, so I backed him up to where he only felt a smidgen of the start of his fear.

There, I gave him treats. Lots of his favorite, special treats. Then we left.

I brought him back again later, and this time he could go a little closer before being afraid. I stopped him there and gave him treats again.

Since under Marshmallow’s fluffy exterior beats the courageous heart of his livestock guardian ancestors, this process didn’t take long and he was soon comfortable with the drinking fountain.

I used the same gradual process with actually running the fountain, and he grew used to that, too. Now I can bring him up to that fountain, run it, and he looks at me like he’s wondering why we’re standing there.

The fear is completely gone.

That’s the power of counter-conditioning, a highly effective training technique used by trainers who employ positive methods to shape animal behavior.

The goal of classic counter-conditioning is to change the dog’s negative response to something to a positive response. The key to affecting this change is to pair the negative stimulus with something wonderful. What’s wonderful will be different with each dog, so you have to let them tell you what they love. It might be a particular kind of treat, a tennis ball, a Kong toy, or anything the dog loves SO much that it has the power to arrest their attention from whatever else they might be doing or experiencing.

So when dogs are fearful, one of the best ways to help them overcome their fears is to pair or counteract the thing or experience that frightens them with something not just good, but wonderful.

Since I’m always on the lookout for ways to fight fear in my own life, I was fascinated when I thought about this dog training technique as an option for people, too. What would it look like to use counter-conditioning as a person battling fear?

Some people would probably suggest trying a positive pairing with something like desserts or relaxation time. I’ve heard the suggestion that we should reward ourselves for going through something tough with a favorite food, chocolate, a special movie, or a spa treatment. Those are great, and I definitely like to reward myself in those ways.

But when it comes to big fears, those rewards—those positive things—just aren’t strong enough to change my negative association and fearful response to the frightening stimuli. When I’m fighting to let go of fear before getting up in front of an audience to speak, the idea of a reward of ice cream afterward would actually nauseate me, rather than help.

I need something stronger. I need not just a good thing, but the best thing. I need something that is powerful enough to arrest my attention from whatever is frightening me. I need God.

Given that realization, I think the most effective counter-conditioning for a person fighting fear would look something like this:

1–Walk into frightening place

2–Pair with God by talking to Him in prayer as I walk

= Fearless

1–Anxiety creeps up and grabs hold of me

2–Pair with God by reading or reciting Scripture for truth to counteract the lies keeping me anxious

= Fearless

1–Hear bad news that scares me

2–Pair with God by singing worship songs or hymns packed with comfort that also lead me to worship Him instead of fear

= Fearless

Depending on how deeply our fears are rooted and how pervasive the lies we’ve believed to keep the fears fed, and depending on how much our faith still needs to grow, this counter-conditioning might take time. With my fearful dog, Lancelot, the drinking fountain process would’ve taken weeks or months instead of minutes.

Most of us won’t lose our fears instantly, but they will lessen and shrink as we repeatedly give ourselves big doses of the wonderful presence and truth of God every time we’re afraid.

Someday, the result for all of us will be like Marshmallow’s—ears perked, tail wagging, and a happy glance into God’s face as we wonder, why were we ever afraid?

What is another way you can counteract fear with God? Has a fear weakened or disappeared in your life? Please share!