The Battleground: The Key to Victory Over Your Fear

Jerusha: I’m so pleased to introduce my new friend and fellow writer, Kelly Jo Wilson! Kelly is sharing an amazing true story with us today, plus she’s offering ALL of you a free ebook! Find the link below following her encouraging post.

By Kelly Jo Wilson

“Hello Kelly, I have the results of your pap smear.” This phone call interrupted the typical word salad in my head while driving to work.

It took me a few minutes to focus, and even remember I went in for a checkup a week ago. Once I heard adenocarcinoma in situ, I perked right up. It wasn’t until the, “Do you have any questions?” that I actually processed some of what she said.

Naturally, I didn’t say a word. Do you ever have questions when a medical person asks if you do?

Once I got to work, I realized what I had just heard. Carcinoma? It was supposed to be the usual abnormal squamous cells of undetermined significance.

I had become comfortable with abnormal squamous cells of undetermined significance because that’s the result I had for years.

Did the nurse just say carcinoma? Wait, cancer?! I needed an explanation.

All of a sudden, what used to be a little abnormal but no big deal, was now a threat. On a scale of 0-6, 0 being completely fine, and 6 being cancer, my once “1” was now a “5.”

It didn’t hit me until I called my husband and had to say the words myself. I’m a nurse, so I’m expected to explain, but I wasn’t the nurse that day. I was the patient.

Fear had struck. It slithered its way into my naturally positive attitude and slowly constricted.

Then it started—the journey.

Tests, tests, and more tests.

With each test, fear squeezed tighter.

But another feature emerged. Hope.

Each test was like a battleground for fear and hope to hash it out. Sometimes my hope would have to tag team my husband’s because it was exhausted.

When I had surgery to get a biopsy of my cervix, I was running on that strength of his. The biopsy revealed a malignant deviant in the form of a tiny, 1A1 tumor. Fear just got another boost and squeezed tighter until every tear trickled out.

Then…more tests.

I just wasn’t prepared for the conditioning my mind and soul would go through.

I’ve seen cancer creep into people’s lives many times. I worked on a pulmonary step-down unit, which means the patients I took care of were slowly suffocating. They faced infections, cancers, and many needed transplants. All that time, when they were going through treatments and unexpected setbacks, I didn’t realize how much fear they were fighting.

As I held their hands, trying to simply be there for them instead of doing the million other things I was expected to do, I never truly understood the look in their eyes. The look of terror…but hope.

When I was waiting to get a PET scan, I finally understood.

Terrified…but hopeful.

The PET Scan was to see if cancer had meandered its way into any other parts of my body. Right before the PET Scan, they had me sit in a dimly lit room for forty-five minutes on a recliner, covered in a scratchy blanket. They wanted me to stay relaxed, so my muscles weren’t doing too much activity to help the accuracy of the test.

Hmmm…Relaxed.

I was alone in a dark room, faintly hearing discussions outside the door, about to take a test that would show if cancer was my body’s unwelcomed new roommate.

All I could think was, Will I need chemo or radiation? Another surgery? What will happen to my hair? Wait, will I…What about my husband and…my son…

The test I was waiting for was about to reveal if I was living…or dying.

Fear had won.

I burst into tears. The whole forty-five minutes, I exploded with all my fear and despair, wailing to Jesus.

Tears I thought were dried up completely flooded the room. I wept the entire time. The. Entire. Time.

Jesus was there with me.

I knew He was there. He held my heart as it poured out.

There’s a special place you come to when you have zero control over what happens next. It’s like a crossroads in your faith. You have to choose.

The choice is between letting fear take over or focusing on what God wants.

Now, I sure didn’t want cancer. And I didn’t want to die. But I didn’t ask God to take it away.

I asked Him to help me accept what He wanted in my life. Help me to accept that He was in control, and have faith in whatever He chose.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6

These verses have always guided my life, but not until I was completely dominated by fear did they take a life of their own.

Have you been faced with a moment where you had to trust the Lord with ALL your heart?

When you have no idea what is going to happen next, it’s easy to let fear paralyze you into a comfortable place of defeat. I say comfortable because there is no more fight in the defeated.

But to fight is to hope. Hope in what your Savior has told you.

Trust Him and don’t lean on your own understanding.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. – Romans 5:5

I am not disappointed by hoping in Jesus. He has been with me through everything.

The PET Scan results were clear. And even as I type that, I hold back tears. I know some people don’t have this same outcome, which makes it bittersweet to be grateful. I have to praise God!

You may be struggling with the fight between fear and hope inside of you today. I’m praying for you.

Choose to be uncomfortable and fight it.

Keep hope in your heart, you aren’t alone.

Jesus is with you. You can trust Him to get you through it.

Have you felt like you’re in a battle between fear and hope? How has God given you victory over your fear? Please share!

Photos by Mitchell Hartley, William Moreland, Meiying Ng, Ales Krivec on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

---

Kelly Jo Wilson has a passion for encouraging people. Her background as a registered nurse, combined with her love of the Lord and the written word, is a recipe for helping others to heal their mind, body, and spirit.

She’s no stranger to a broken past of personal mistakes and heartache. The call on her heart from the Lord has propelled her into uncharted territory. From that day forward, she has desperately tried to step out of Jesus’ way so she can be a blessing to others.

Whether it’s through writing, nursing, or everyday life, she strives to inspire people to understand their unique gifts and celebrate them.

Connect with Kelly at her website and on Facebook and Instagram.

---

Kelly is giving away this ebook for free to all of you! Simply follow this link or click on the book cover image below to get your copy!

Tearing the Veil

You know the story of Jesus dying on the cross. But do you know what really happened the moment He gave up His Spirit?

This book will help you:

• Learn the truth about the events during Jesus’s death.
• Understand the significance of your connection to God
• Focus on Jesus using God’s word
• Relate the concepts in your own life

In this world, you face rejection, hopelessness, and feel disconnected from God. You don’t need to handle it alone. Learn how Jesus made sure you never have to be separated from God, and how much your life is truly worth.

Get your free copy of this ebook here.