The darkness was ominous. Threatening.
I was taking my dogs outside for the last time before bed, as I did every night. But this night was different.
There were so many shadows. Strange noises.
Was that movement behind a tree?
It wasn’t much better inside the house. Every room held an eerie silence as I turned on more lights than usual. I left many of them on when I went to bed, drawing meager comfort from the illumination in the quiet.
Sleep remained elusive while my imagination ran wild with all the dreadful dangers that were possible now that I was alone in the house. Finally, I reached an exhaustion level that numbed my imagination and allowed me to sleep.
It was the first time I’d been in the house alone overnight. But I wasn’t a child—I was very much an adult. I knew my fearful reaction to being alone was silly, maybe even a little pathetic at my age, but I couldn’t help it. After all, there’s great safety in numbers.
I’ve spent most of my life gathering courage from that belief. As the youngest of four children, I was rarely the only child in the house, let alone the only person. I never traveled alone either.
Once I reached college age, I began to fly to locations on my own—my first foray into attempting something new and potentially dangerous alone. I got mostly used to that (my imagination can give me grief over staying in a hotel by myself), but there are still certain things I won’t do alone.
I won’t drive on a long trip, for example, without road trip companions. Too many things could go wrong. I could be stranded on the side of the road with a broken down car, alone. I could get lost in a dangerous ghetto of some major city. I could get abducted anywhere along the route and no one would know. (Welcome to my fearful imagination—isn’t it fun?)
But give me even just one traveling buddy, and I’m ready to go. I’m also a lot less stressed about flying if I have a friend or family member along. As you now know, I feel the same way about wanting someone else in the house overnight. I want a companion with me if I’m going into a jail to do ministry, exploring a new city, traveling to a foreign country.
I’d rather face most situations that are new or dangerous with someone by my side. I’m much less fearful in the face of any such challenge when someone is with me. I’ve noticed through observing others that I’m not the only one who draws courage and strength from numbers. Though it’s manifested in different ways and areas, many people I know share this tendency, or if you’ll allow, this struggle.
Some people fear being alone when they’re sick or in pain. Others find the courage to face heights, insects, tight spaces, or bad news through the presence of another person.
God designed us for relationships and wants us to engage in them, so the desire for companions to journey through life with us isn’t a bad thing. But as is often the case, we can turn a good thing into a bad thing by giving it a place in our lives it doesn’t deserve. By putting that good thing in the place of God.
I know I’m guilty of this with the idea of safety in numbers.
Here’s the hard, scary reality:
No matter how many people you surround yourself with, you can still die, still get hurt—whatever the worst thing is you fear, it could still happen.
But here’s the glorious, empowering, fear-busting reality:
Only God can protect you from everything you fear, and He is ALWAYS with you!
You know how I said I have less fear in potentially dangerous situations when someone is with me? Well, Someone is always with me!
Look at these promises that God gives us in Scripture:
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5b
“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20b
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. – Psalm 32:7
…fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10
The Someone Who is with me is far better, stronger, and greater than any person I could ever imagine or want to be my companion. Truthfully, most of the friends or family members I rely on as my “safety net” couldn’t do all that much to prevent some of the things I fear.
But even if they can or do, the protection they provide is only possible through the power and providence of God. Ultimately, any time we are protected by apparently human means, God and His protection are actually behind it.
Sometimes bad things will still happen to us, maybe even something that we fear. But God is still with us through those times, strengthening and sustaining us, and nothing that occurs was out of His control or outside His plan. No matter what happens, He promises the end results will be good (Rom. 8:28, Jer. 29:11) and that He will help us, uphold us, and give us victory over all evil.
So maybe the idea of safety in numbers is true. But only if one of those numbers is God.
Do you draw courage from being with others? Do you struggle with fear when you’re alone, or do have ideas for conquering that fear? Please share!
Comments 15
Hebrews 13:5 is one of my favorite verses. We humans soooo need to know we are not alone. So true!
Author
Oh, mine, too, Dena! Such an encouraging promise to know our Savior and the Lord of the universe is always with us and will NEVER leave us! Thanks for joining the conversation!
Thanks for the encouraging post! It is such a wonderful, comforting, and empowering truth, that God is ALWAYS with us. If we know Christ as Savior, then in fact God lives WITHIN us! The Holy Spirit indwells us and we truly are never apart from God. We all need this reminder, that we are never alone.
Author
Well said, MJ! Isn’t that an amazing and astounding truth? And so, so comforting and empowering. Thanks for joining the conversation!
Thank you for this post. I’m the same as you in not wanting to be alone in traveling. My mind goes through all those same fearful scenarios. Flat tire, accident, etc. You name it, I think it. Blessedly I can call on Jesus to be in the car with me. He’s the best backseat driver 😉
Author
Amen! Love that image, Rebekah. 🙂 Though I think more often with me, He’s the one with His hands on the wheel, since I need all the help I can get! 😉 I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one with the runaway imagination. Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation!
Years ago, when I went through a very dark time, I felt that God had abandoned me. I knew by faith that He hadn’t. But one day He spoke to me inside my head and said “I have never left you.” That was the day I began to heal from my depression, and I always remember how those words of comfort are the same found in Heb. 13!
Author
That is SO beautiful, Dena! Praise the Lord for bringing His truth from Scripture to your mind at the perfect moment. I love it how He does that! It’s so easy to feel that God has abandoned us when we’re going through tough times. I’m so thankful that He brought you out of that time and showed you that He was always with you!
Oh I have been studying about trusting the unseen over the “seen.” And that is exactly the idea here isn’t it! We can’t worry about being alone. We are never alone!
Author
Great thought, Helene! You’re right, the unseen Holy Spirit and His power within us usually isn’t seen physically and yet He is so much greater than all our fears and any evil. Amen! Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation!
Yes, He is faithful. I love the description of Jesus in Revelation as Faithful and True. He can be relied upon because He always tells the truth. I used to tell my Sunday school kids, “Always remember, Jesus Himself said, ‘Thy Word is truth.’ So you can rely on Him.”
My hubby works swing shift and I struggle from time to time with sleeping. A writer’s imagination is a tough thing. It’s funny but if one of my grandkids spends the night when I’m alone, I sleep better, even the three-year-old. ☺
Author
Haha, isn’t that funny? I’m the same way! I almost mentioned it in my post that sometimes that other person I need to have along for courage can even be a little child who can’t do a thing to protect me! As for the writer’s imagination…I guess it’s one of those things that’s a blessing unless we let it run wild and be used for evil. I’m constantly having to rein it back in. 🙂 Thanks for joining the conversation, Jennifer!
Thank you, Jerusha! I have the same fear of being alone. I think I was in my late 30’s when i first stayed alone overnight and it was scary. Right now i am in an airport about to fly alone and i am feeling stressed for no good reason. I am not afraid of flying but i don’t like being alone. Thank you for your words of encouragement . I am not alone!
Author
Wow, don’t you love God’s timing, Marjorie? 🙂 I’m so glad He used this post to encourage you just when you needed it. I, too, get stressed when flying alone–not because of a fear of flying, but just because of the fears that come with what could happen because I’m alone. But, yes, I am NOT alone! And neither are you! I pray you’ll have a safe and fearless journey with God as your traveling companion!