Invisible: How to Beat the Fear that You Don’t Matter

Jerusha: I’m delighted to welcome back my long-time friend and fellow author, Marie Wells Coutu! Marie is offering a free digital copy of her contemporary novel, Thirsting for More, to one of you! Simply leave a comment below for your chance to win. 

By Marie Wells Coutu

It was a large gathering of employees that included many important people—people who were not only leaders in the organization but well-known in the culture at large. Men who had met with Presidents and other world leaders.

I had worked there less than a year and was well-acquainted with only a few of those attending. Others who had come from overseas I knew by name only.

I felt insignificant, even invisible at times.

Then God reminded me we are all equal at the foot of the cross. And He gave me a new appreciation for the privilege I had of sharing this time with such faithful followers of Christ.

Years later, I still suffer from the fear of being invisible. Other people write blogs and get thousands of followers within a few months. After several years, I’m not sure anyone reads my posts.

I see other writers sign with agents, announce publishing contracts, make the best-seller lists, get hundreds of positive reviews, while my three published books seem to languish unnoticed and I haven’t been offered representation for my next series.

When I attend parties and potluck dinners, I wonder if I’ll find someone to sit with. Friends and neighbors get together, and I’m not invited.

I feel invisible.

As writer-entertainer Kelly Minter says in her Bible study on Ruth, “The mentality is ‘If you’re not getting stopped in the grocery store, what have you really accomplished?’ I don’t really believe this is true in my heart of hearts, but it feels true when your ‘success’ is measured by numbers, sales, and notoriety, when it’s measured by people knowing your name.”

Can you relate?

I sound like I’m whining, and I have no reason to. When I’m honest with myself, I know the recognition is not what really counts. Besides, the situation isn’t as bad as it sounds. I am a published author. I have received awards for my writing. People do tell their friends about my books.

One friend in particular regularly comments how much she appreciates my devotional blog posts. My “social media” numbers continue to increase, slowly but steadily. I usually feel welcomed at those potluck dinners and have a great time.

But the fear of being the “invisible woman” lingers.

My remedy is scripture, especially Psalm 139 where I am reminded that God has known me from the very beginning:

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. – Psalm 139:16

From this passage, it’s suggested that even David, the man God chose to be king, may have felt insignificant at times. The Bible is filled with others who probably felt invisible or of little value:

• The widow Ruth, who had to glean wheat behind the harvesters in order to feed herself and her mother-in-law. Yet she became a significant person in the lineage of Jesus.
• The Samaritan woman who’d been married five times and was an outcast. She drew her water at noon to avoid the other women, but Jesus stopped and talked to her, and she brought the rest of the village to meet Him.
• Zacchaeus, a despised tax collector. (The children’s song calls him a “wee little man.”) Yet out of all the crowd, Jesus chose to go to his home for a meal.
• Leah, Jacob’s second choice for a wife, whose father got her a husband only through deceit. From her sons came the line (and the Lion) of Judah, the Savior of the world.

When I’m feeling discouraged because nobody knows me or sees me, God’s Word reminds me how wrong I am. The Creator of the Universe created me with all my quirks as well as my abilities.

There’s no one more important or powerful than Him; if He sees me, how can I be invisible?

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways. – Psalm 139:2-3

Next time you feel invisible, try reading the entire chapter of Psalm 139. Here are a couple of other passages that will remind you that God not only made you, but He knows your name:

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1

“The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” – John 10:3b

With these promises from scripture in mind, ask God for His assurance that you matter, not only to Him but also to those around you.

Do you ever have the feeling no one sees you or knows your name? What tips do you have that might help others get through such times? Please share!

Photos by Saskia van Manen, rawpixel, and Scott Webb on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

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Marie Wells Coutu finds beauty in surprising places, like old houses, gnarly trees, and forgotten treasures. When she’s not writing about finding restoration and healing through God-designed journeys, she enjoys taking broken things and making them useful.

The Secret Heart, her newest release, was named a finalist in both the 2018 National Excellence in Romantic Fiction Awards and the 2018 Royal Palm Literary Awards sponsored by Florida Writers Association. Her debut novel, For Such a Moment, won the Books of Hope Contest. Thirsting for More, the second book in the series was a finalist in the Selah Awards Contest and a semi-finalist in the Royal Palm Literary Awards. An unpublished historical novel set near Golden Pond has been a finalist in five contests.

She grew up in Kentucky, has lived in Kansas, Connecticut, Minnesota, Iowa and South Carolina. With her handyman husband of four decades, she now divides her time between Florida and the Midwest.

You can find more about Marie and her novels on her Facebook page (Author Marie Wells Coutu), at her website (MarieWellsCoutu.com), or follow her on Twitter (@mwcoutu) or on Amazon.com.

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Marie is going to give one of you a free e-book of her contemporary novel, Thirsting for More! To enter the giveaway, leave a comment below! (Giveaway ends March 11, 2019. Randomly selected winner will be emailed with notification.)

THIRSTING FOR MORE

Will a new city be her chance for a new life?

Northern transplant Victoria Russo moves to charming Charleston, South Carolina, hoping to renovate her career, her life, and an old house. Will she repeat the pitfalls of her past mistakes, or find the freedom and restoration she seeks?