Bigger than Fear: Conquering Anxiety with a Surprise Weapon

Jerusha: I’m delighted to introduce you to my friend and fellow writer, Raelee May Carpenter! Raelee and I met online, and I just love her encouraging spirit, even in the midst of difficulties. Raelee is offering a free digital copy of her novel, Liberation Song, to one of you! Simply leave a comment below for a chance to win. Now to Raelee’s inspiring idea for fighting fear!

By Raelee May Carpenter

My pen tapped against the edge of my open journal. I sighed hard and buried my face in my pillow.

“God, this is hard,” I prayed. “Life is hard right now. Scary. How am I supposed to be thankful for this?”

It was a coping mechanism suggested in an anxiety and depression therapy program I was working through: “Pray daily in thankfulness for things you already have.”

I decided to write my thanksgiving prayer down so I’d remember what I was grateful for and to journal my prayer first thing in the morning. Mornings are rough for me, and I wanted to get my days off to a better start. Honestly, though, I chose this particular suggestion, because compared to a lot of the things on the list, I thought it would be cheap and easy.

But here I was, day one, and this “easy” journal exercise was turning into the worst case of writer’s block I’d ever had.

Looking back, it’s almost embarrassing how hard it was to be grateful. At first, I struggled mightily to get five things on my little list, and the things I chose were a bit…well, lame. Most of them were food-related. (I have a lifelong love affair with chocolate and cake. Don’t get me started.)

Weeks passed, though, and I realized I was wrapping up my list in less than two minutes. So I extended my list to seven items. Soon enough, I had to pick and choose carefully what gifts from God made the day’s list.

I also noticed how my prayer grew deeper and more intense. I thanked God for my relationships, imperfect though they were (and still are). I even thanked Him for the gifts of the trials and challenges He had allowed into my life. And I was praising Him mightily for the growth He did in my heart through these very trials.

After a month or two, I found myself carrying the journal with me so I could sneak new items into it throughout the day.

Some days I ended with a list of more than two dozen gifts that God had given me. I read Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts and decided to write down 1,000 of my own. A few weeks later, my list topped 1,100.

I don’t know what it is about gratefulness that’s so powerful to change a life like it did mine. Maybe because it is, in a way, an act of surrender. Something about choosing thankfulness connects us to that “mind of Christ” we were given. It opens our spirits up to the Spirit of God.

Gratefulness says, “God, I trade my earthly, fallen desires for Your eternal ones. God, I stop fighting You for what I think I want and start thanking You for what You’ve already done.”

James, Jesus’ brother, said, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17 ESV).

Some versions say that God has “no shadow of turning.” Which means He is so constant He never even changes directions, never turns around. He never turns away. This has a lot of implications. It means He’s always looking out for us, and that never changes for a second.

In the context of His gifts, it means that, since He has given before, we can count on Him to give again. Indeed, I’ve found Him to be a Father of constant and extravagant generosity.

In Him, we truly have all we need. We just need to know how to see it.

Letting me see. That’s what gratefulness did for me. Through gratefulness, the Spirit of God filled my days, and with Him came more gifts: His fruit.

You know. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and all the rest. Not that I’ve already been made perfect, as Paul said. And not that it was everything. The personal fear therapy program that our Father put me on is intense, multi-faceted, and continues to this day.

What gratefulness did for me was allow God’s gifts to be more important than my fears. And because thankfulness focuses past the gift to the Giver, it revealed God Himself to be bigger than all of it.

Years have passed since that first stumbling day, and I laugh now to think of it. I don’t keep my journal in exactly the same way, but through it, God has given me a new gift, one of the most valuable things I’ve ever received.

A thankful heart.

Do you struggle with anxiety or others forms of fear? Has thankfulness or something else helped you fight your fear? Please share!

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Raelee May Carpenter is a child of God and follower of Christ. Among other things, she writes, edits, navigates the effects of trauma, and manages several chronic health conditions.

She has authored the novels Liberation Song, Kings and Shepherds, and The Lincoln High Project, as well as many short works.

She currently resides in Michigan, where her critical duties include ensuring her furry four-footed roommate receives twice-daily constitutionals.

Connect with Raelee on Facebook and Twitter.

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Raelee is giving away a digital copy of her novel, Liberation Song, to an FW Blog reader! Leave a comment below for your chance to win! (Winner will be randomly selected June 11, 2018.)

When we first meet Aili MacIntyre, she’s doing what she’s been doing all her life: running in fear. She flees through a foreign jungle with two young girls and tries to save them from the forced prostitution ring that has been holding them in a virtual hell-on-earth. But tragedy meets them under the trees, and only one child escapes.

Three years later, Alexandra Adelaide has acquired a new identity in a radically different scene: the metropolitan jungle of Greater Los Angeles. She, though saved by Grace, has invented what she believes is the appropriate way to suffer for her own sins. Alex is raising the child who was orphaned by her insecurities. And she never, for a second, lets herself forget the pain caused by her mistakes.

Then the real tragedy strikes . . .

. . . she falls in love.

Matthew Gold is everything she needs and a lot more than she could’ve imagined. Bright, attractive, generous, and with his own vested interest in Grace, Matt works hard to earn Alex’s trust and a place in her life. He even loves and seeks to protect her daughter, who is the key to breaking open the biggest human trafficking case in recent history.

But Alex has lived in fear since she took her first breath. So how does she let Love start a new day? How does she choose courage even as very real dangers draw closer to her barred doors?