Battle of Wills: Defeating the Hidden Fear that Drives Your Prayers

Jerusha: I’m so excited to introduce you to Melissa Ferguson! I got to meet Melissa at a conference last year and have enjoyed the laughter and hope her unique blend of humor and truth bring to my days through her social media posts. Please join me in giving her a big FW community welcome!

By Melissa Ferguson

When I was in seminary, I spent a semester interning at a terrific church (really, it is terrific). However, one day my supervisor asked if I would lead a core group for a special speaker event, and naturally, I said yes. I will never forget the turn things took that day.

“If you are in this room, and feeling warm, or nervous, that is the Spirit speaking to you, telling you to listen up. If you are getting cold, that is the Spirit speaking to you. If you are feeling a quivering in your stomach, anxiety, stillness, peace—all of this is the Spirit telling you to listen right now to what I’m saying.”

I sat in the audience, squirming as the speaker declared that everything from being hot to cold, peaceful to anxious, tired to alert, agreeing with his words to disagreeing with his words—that all of it meant the Holy Spirit was stirring us to listen to this man. This human man.

See, I have a real problem when anybody claims to tell me what the God of the universe is saying or thinking that is outside direct quotation of Scripture. And I have a real problem with manipulative speaking techniques when it comes to our precious faith. As in, it makes me want to pull a Jesus and flip a few tables. It’s incredibly unbiblical and can be one of the most damaging things to happen to Christians and non-Christians alike.

Yet there I was, stuck in that sanctuary, not just an attender who could walk away but a leader for this event.

And then the terrible sequence of events began. This speaker told everyone to stand, gather together with their core leaders, and drive into downtown where we would proceed to walk up to strangers and insist healing on whatever ailed them—all the while claiming to those strangers that they absolutely will be healed because “God wants them healed” and “we just have to demonstrate our mustard-seed faith.”

For two hours the groups walked around a small commercial area, laying hands on the same three dozen people, repeating prayers over and over in every variety and decibel possible.

“We know you, God, will heal this person.”

“We trust that you, Lord of all, will make this person well!”

“We will not give up interceding for this person until you heal him.”

“She will be healed, TODAY!”

(For the record, I sat on a bench, chatted with a circus clown, and ended up getting offered a job with a circus performing company as a princess. I never took it.)

But here is the thing.

Christians desperately need to stop fearing that their words and methods alone are the reason a prayer is not answered in the way they want. They need to stop giving in to the belief that if they can only pray harder, longer, louder, more intelligently, more clearly, more fervently, then that thing will happen just how they ask, the moment they ask. They need to be free of guilt if the person does not heal, or even passes away. And, perhaps most importantly, they need to stop going out in groups to “practice praying” on a bunch of strangers.

What do we need to do?

Well, for starters, seek an Enoch-style relationship and walk with God, so that that Spirit will guide you in how to pray according to God’s will. Maybe that’ll lead you to specifically move a mountain for a God-ordained reason—awesome!—but your will needs to be in line with God’s will.

I am aware that this is a hard issue, and tackling the interpretation of such verses as Mark 11:22-23 is impossible in so short a post (although, I do recommend heading over to John Piper’s article on this: What Do Answers to Prayer Depend On Part 2).

But my college professor once said something powerful. “What is one thing that happened to every single one of the people Jesus healed?”

The answer?

They all died.

Eventually, for all of them, their time to pass out of this world and enter the next came.

And though unimaginable, unseen, and often terrifying to us, that was God’s plan. Is God’s plan.

We live in a broken, shattered-glass-on-the-streets kind of world, and the best is yet to come.

Even Jesus, not desirous to die so gruesomely on the cross, prayed to God in Gethsemane:

“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” – Luke 22:42

Could Jesus have thrown aside a mountain and walked out of there, unscathed? Yes.

But it wasn’t God’s will. God had a bigger plan. And so the mountain didn’t move, and Jesus didn’t ask it to.

If Jesus took the time to seek God and pray in such a submissive manner—over such a critical issue!—so can we.

So let’s pray, certainly, at all times for all things for all people. Let’s do what Ephesians 6:18 says and, “Pray in the Spirit at all times, with every kind of prayer and petition.”

But let’s also be very aware of our words and our fears and motivations that lie shallowly underneath, and remember that God—a good God and not a magic genie waiting for the “right” words to unlock His powers—is in control.

Walk with God. Ask for God’s will. And pray.

Do you sometimes think answers to prayer depend on you? How does trusting God for answers relieve your fears? Please share!

Photos by Arisa Chattasa, Patrick Fore, Chris Liverani, and Olivia Snow on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

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Melissa Ferguson is an author of heartwarming romantic comedy with Thomas Nelson Publishing, and an adjunct professor for New Testament. She lives in the charming town of Bristol, TN with her husband, twin toddlers, and baby girl.

She used to have hobbies like running and backpacking the Appalachian Trail outside her door. Now her hobbies include admiring the Appalachian Trail out her minivan window while singing “The Itsby Bitsy Spider” en route to the library.

Her debut, The Dating Charade, comes out December 3rd. She’d love you to join her, and her journey, on her newsletter. Get a free e-book just for subscribing to Melissa’s newsletter here!

You can also connect with Melissa at her website or on Instagram, Facebook, and Goodreads.

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I’m so excited about Melissa’s debut romance novel, coming out on December 3, 2019! Check it out here and grab your pre-order copy!

Some of life’s biggest rewards come in the smallest packages.

Cassie Everson has a habit of escaping in the middle of notoriously bad first dates. And, after years of meeting, greeting, and running from the men who try to woo her, Cassie is just about ready to retire her hopes for a husband—and children—altogether. Cassie finally decides to throw herself into her career as Director of Girls Haven—a demanding position that is already central to her life.

But fate has other plans, and Cassie’s online dating profile catches the eye of Jett Bentley. In Jett’s memory, Cassie Everson is the unreachable, untouchable girl from their high school days. Nervously, he messages her.

After a knockout first date where both Jett and Cassie claim to not want kids, they go home to find three children dropped in their laps.

Each.

Without wanting to give up on their new relationship, Jett and Cassie decide to do the right and mature thing: hide the kids from each other while sorting it all out.

What could go wrong?