An Imperfect Life: Beating Perfectionist Fears with the Perfect Power

Every time I looked at the Christmas tree this holiday season, it didn’t give me the usual feeling of joy as I admired its nostalgic beauty. Instead, I saw imperfection.

The top quarter of the tree was darkened, while the bottom portions were lit with colorful lights, thanks to the top light set going out about two weeks before Christmas day.

I intended to remove all the ornaments from the top of the tree, take off the dead light set, and replace it with a new one. I even made a rare trip to the hardware store and bought replacement lights. But this holiday season was far more hectic than the norm, and I just couldn’t find time amid the hustle and bustle to fix the tree problem.

The tree was only one of many imperfections to gnaw at me during the Christmas season. But, in all honesty, the imperfect, messy Christmas of 2019 was an appropriate close to an imperfect year. No matter what I did or how perfect I tried to be, I couldn’t prevent tragedy or loss, I couldn’t repair severed relationships, and I couldn’t achieve all I should have.

It was a messy year. Maybe 2019 was a messy, imperfect year for you, too.

For an extreme perfectionist like myself, such imperfections weigh heavily on me. Imperfection means failure and flaws. Imperfection means having what I fear come true.

I fear failure and flaws because of my pride, my desire to think I’m better than I actually am. But I also don’t want to fail others. In that way, my perfectionist tendencies aren’t just an effort to please myself—I want to make others happy by making things perfect for them, too. Especially at Christmastime, I feel a burden to do everything and execute it all perfectly so everyone will be as pleased and happy as possible.

The Christmas tree with its darkened imperfection likely bothered me so much in part because it was a reminder of the year as a whole, but even more so because it was a reflection and reminder of what I fear—my own imperfection.

It was a reminder that my imperfection isn’t limited to Christmas or the year of 2019. I’m living an imperfect life in an imperfect world.

But one evening, in the darkness of the Christmas treetop, I eventually saw what God likely intended—I saw a glimmer of hope.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

I do everything I can to be perfect, struggling every day to attain the impossible while pretending I’m not motivated by the fear of facing my imperfection. Yet, here, God says to Paul—and to us, His followers to come after—that imperfection isn’t something to be feared because even that has been redeemed.

Christ, our Redeemer, is in the business of redeeming more than souls. He’s redeeming everything. Even what people and the adversary mean for evil, God promises to use for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). Death itself will be “swallowed up in victory” (1 Cor. 15:54).

And here, in 2 Corinthians 12:9, we get the fear-busting promise that our weakness—our imperfection—will be redeemed.

Only in my imperfection am I aware of how much I need God’s grace. Only in my messy times am I aware of how strong and necessary Christ’s power is.

Yes, we’re to strive to be perfect as Christ is perfect (Matt. 5:48), and we need to be careful we don’t bounce to the wrongful extreme of celebrating failure. But if we could achieve the perfection of Christ on our own, we wouldn’t need Christ at all.

Because we are so imperfect, we need Christ to continue to sanctify us day by day. Because we are so imperfect, we needed Him to live a perfect life in our stead and pay the penalty for our sins that we deserved. Because we are imperfect, we needed to be saved from sin and condemnation.

And because we are so imperfect, we need Christ, the Holy Spirit, and God the Father to save us, empower us, and hold us fast every moment of our lives.

No wonder God told Paul His power was made perfect in Paul’s weakness, for if we could do it all ourselves, we would deny and never know the power and love of Christ at all.

In the next verse in 2 Corinthians, Paul writes:

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:10

As we strive for the perfection of Christ, instead of fearing imperfection, we can be at peace whenever we realize how imperfect we are. Did you catch the wording in 2 Corinthians 12:9?

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Christ’s power is made perfect in my imperfection. Ultimately, Christ’s perfection is all I need to call each day a success.

And the guarantee that my imperfection will be redeemed by His perfection is all I need to stop fearing my imperfect life.

Photos by Mae Mu, Ed Leszczynskl, and Mitchell Orr on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.