Accepted: The Key to Beating Your Fear of Rejection

Jerusha AgenFighting Fear 16 Comments

Jerusha: I’m delighted to introduce you to Christian fiction author, Amanda Cox! Amanda is giving away a print copy of her brand new novel, The Edge of Belonging. Leave a comment below for your chance to win!

By Amanda Cox

I didn’t always have a name for the thing that caused me to hold back in relationships. To buy gifts for people and never end up giving them, or to give them and fight internal panic the entire time they opened the gift. To have something I wanted to say, but to stay silent.

It wasn’t until later in life that I really began to understand the root of all that. I was afraid.

I was afraid what I had to offer was too much, or too little. Or worse, unnecessary.

It took some work with Jesus, really digging in and gaining a fresh understanding that the acceptance that I thought would be so hard to obtain was already mine.

If I allowed my fear of rejection to dictate whether or not I offer the talents and gifts I have to those around me, I was making more of what man thought of me than God’s opinion of me.

One verse that helped me to overcome this fear-based reaction was Colossians 3:17 which says:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

When I do everything to the best of my ability alongside Jesus with the mindset of serving Him and His purposes, Who has already accepted me, fear releases its hold. Rejection may sting, but it loses its power to crush.

Psalm 118:6 is a great reminder of the lack of power human opinion has over our lives. It says,

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

In Christ Jesus, we are ransomed and bought with a price. We are His.

When these truths transform from head knowledge to heart knowledge, it makes all the difference.

Fear loses its ability to paralyze us.

In His infinite grace, Jesus helped me do a lot of this soul work before I started submitting my writing for publication.

The road to publication is often paved with rejection, a lot of it. Mine certainly was.

But when I began the process of writing The Edge of Belonging, I did it with God by my side, guiding my heart. I knew that my work was already accepted by the One whose opinion mattered most.

Any “yes” I got along the way became icing on the cake. The rejections were opportunities to learn and grow.

As I face the thrill—and let’s face it, vulnerability—that comes with releasing a book into the world, I will cling closely to these lessons I’ve learned.

Remembering that I began writing this story as unto God, I will release it into the world with His blessing and His acceptance.

Any acceptance from the rest of the world can simply be icing on an already wonderful cake.

If you, like me, hesitate to offer the gifts you have to the world, whether it is words, or acts of service, or just your presence because you fear that it won’t be well received, I encourage you to seek the acceptance you already have in Christ.

Dwell there. Soak it in.

When the origin of that fear begins to heal in His presence, the rejection you fear might still happen, but by and by it will lose its weight.

And you will find that there is a whole world out there who needs the unique person God created you to be and the gifts He has imparted you with.

Do you fear rejection? Is that fear keeping you from sharing yourself and your gifts? Tell us your story in the comments below!

Photos by Matthew Henry, Noah Silliman, and Joshua Earle on Unsplash. Original graphics designed by Jerusha Agen.

Amanda Cox is a blogger and a curriculum developer for a national nonprofit youth leadership organization, but her first love is communicating through story.

She holds a bachelor’s degree in Bible and theology and a master’s degree in professional counseling.

Her studies and interactions with hurting families over a decade have allowed her to create multidimensional characters that connect emotionally with readers.

She lives in the foothills of east Tennessee with her husband and their three children.

Connect with Amanda at her website and on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can also find Amanda and her books on BookBub and GoodReads.


Amanda is giving one print copy of The Edge of Belonging to one of you! Simply leave a comment below to enter the giveaway! (Giveaway ends September 21, 2020. Winner must have continental U. S. mailing address.)

THE EDGE OF BELONGING

When Ivy Rose returns to her hometown to oversee an estate sale, she soon discovers that her grandmother left behind more than trinkets and photo frames–she provided a path to the truth behind Ivy’s adoption. Shocked, Ivy seeks clues to her past, but a key piece to the mystery is missing.

Twenty-four years earlier, Harvey James finds an abandoned newborn who gives him a sense of human connection for the first time in his life. His desire to care for the baby runs up against the stark fact that he is homeless. When he becomes entwined with two people seeking to help him find his way, Harvey knows he must keep the baby a secret or risk losing the only person he’s ever loved.

In this dual-time story from debut novelist Amanda Cox, the truth–both the search for it and the desire to keep it from others–takes center stage as Ivy and Harvey grapple with love, loss, and letting go.

Comments 16

  1. “When I do everything to the best of my ability alongside Jesus with the mindset of serving Him and His purposes, Who has already accepted me, fear releases its hold. Rejection may sting, but it loses its power to crush.”

    Amen!! Thanks for sharing with us, Amanda. 🙏🥰

  2. Thanks for sharing with us, Amanda. I regularly knit blankets for babies of friends or relatives. I continue to have the fear that they won’t like what I have made. Sometimes I get a thank you note which takes away the fear for that one. Other times I will get a picture of the baby lying on the blanket. Those little things take away some of the fear of being rejected. I also have been encouraged by the group of ladies I used to knit with . They maintained that what I was doing was my gift to them. What the recipient did with that gift, was not my concern – in others words – do not feel rejected if you never hear from them again. Just like your comment, Amanda – the feeling of rejection still stung, but it has not kept me from continuing to share.

    1. I’m so glad to hear that your fears of rejection haven’t stopped you from offering your gifts. You are so right! Our job is to offer our gifts. How that gift is received is not up to us. It makes me think of the gift of eternal life through Jesus…the most perfect gift, and yet people still reject Him. Rejection is not always about us and what we offer!

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  3. I often struggle with the fear of rejection. Sometimes I am able to overcome and sometimes not so much. But I am a work in progress, at least I think and hope so.

    1. We are all works in progress! I know I am anyway!! I am so thankful for God’s guidance and patience when I struggle. Some days I face the day firmly resting in His acceptance…sometimes I need reminders…lots of reminders! His strength is made perfect in my weakness! So thankful for His grace and the ways He is enough when I know I’m not.

  4. What a great message, Amanda! “…the acceptance I thought would be so hard to obtain was already mine.” This is so relevant to the writer life but also so many other areas. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thanks, Katie! I know that desire for acceptance certainly reverberates through my life! God has definitely continued to use my writing life to solidify those things He has been teaching me!!

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