Jerusha: Join me in welcoming Susan Landry to the Fear Warrior community! Susan’s post today offers powerful truth for everyone, even those of us who aren’t parents, so read on! And leave a comment after the post for a chance to win a free, print copy of Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home.
By Susan Landry
I remember sitting on the floor in my boys’ bedroom when they were young, fighting with God. I had been praying over them as they slept, and I began to hear the Lord speaking to my heart, asking me to trust my kids with Him. Will you give me your kids? Will you trust them in my care?
Becoming a parent is stressful and overwhelming in about a million ways. People joke about the lack of sleep, but in reality…it feels like torture. As the baby grows, so can the worry. I majored in Early Childhood education, worked at a daycare throughout college, and taught elementary school before having children…so I felt like I had this. At least all of the things I could control. But I very quickly began to realize there were a lot of things I couldn’t.
My fears centered around my boys being taken or harmed. As long as I was with them, I was good. But if my husband were to tell me he was taking them to the store while I was at work, I would be consumed by fear until I got home, sure that he was going to lose one of them. (And I must say, my husband was and is a devoted father, so my fears had nothing to do with his ability). Yet still I would cry, and fret, and prepare for the worst.
Where do your parenting fears center? For one of my friends, it was SIDS. Any time she laid her baby down, she was worried. Another friend feared that as her kids grew, she wouldn’t know how to parent them in the successive stages. Maybe you’re afraid that you are ruining your kids in some way, or that you’re doing something wrong.
Whatever it is, the remedy is the same. It’s what I discovered that night on the bedroom floor, fighting with God.
Here I was, hearing the Creator of the universe ask me to trust my kids with Him, and I couldn’t do it. I actually told Him, “No.” Can you believe that?! It was more like, “I know you’re God and can do anything, but these are my kids, and I’m afraid if I say I trust them to you, you’ll take them away from me, so….no.”
Battling it out, I finally gave in…sort of.
Whispering into the darkness, I said, “Fine. I’ll say the words. But I don’t mean it. Itrustmykidswithyou.”
Funny thing is, once I said the words, I started to feel the burden lift. The relief of speaking the truth began to wash over me. I started to feel what I had spoken. I talked with God some more that night, and was able to say the words in a less sassy manner.
I am a firm believer in this principle: We need to speak the truth even when it doesn’t feel true.
You see, our feelings lie to us. Fear lies to us. But God’s word is true all the time and no matter what. Speaking the truth into a situation reminds us of that. Will our feelings always follow suit right away? Not on a long shot. But we need to keep speaking it, keep reminding ourselves of what the truth is.
For me, I did feel my burden lift that night. I was able to lean in to God’s truth and his great care for me and my sweet children. I began to understand in my heart what I already knew in my head: that whether or not I ‘gave’ my kids to Him, they were His first. Choosing to say it out loud was a measure of obedience on my part. It didn’t change the fact that He already loved them far more than I could comprehend.
In all honesty, my fears didn’t disappear. But when I would feel them returning, I had a foundation of truth to stand on. I could remind myself of the truth until my feelings followed.
Now that my boys are teenagers, nearing graduation, I have a whole new battleground I’m facing—trusting that this gracious Father of ours will continue to keep them in His care as they leave my home.
Here’s the truth I’m reminding myself of: They are His before they are mine, and He is able to protect them far better than I can.
What is your parenting fear? What is God’s truth about it?
Susan is a former teacher turned homeschooler, married to her favorite person, and follower of Jesus. She currently writes at The Sparrow’s Home about all things home…covering topics like recipes, herbal remedies, parenting, marriage, home & garden, and homeschooling. Women today often feel isolated, that they have to figure it all out on their own. It’s the goal of The Sparrow’s Home to be a place where we can share the knowledge and experiences we’ve had to encourage one another. Life is hard. God is good. We need each other.
Connect with Susan on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter.
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So where is God in all of this? Does he care about the way we unload the dishwasher or balance the budget? Do the little things like changing diapers or cooking meals make a difference? And how can we use our spheres of influence for God’s glory and our joy?
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Comments 15
Thank you. This speaks to me in so many ways, including recovering from anxiety, especially over my children.
Sarah, I’m so thankful that this was a blessing to you. I really believe that more women than we know struggle with fears and anxiety. Sometimes just hearing that you’re not the only one can make all the difference.
Author
I’m so thankful that God used Susan’s post to encourage you today, Sarah. I pray that God will strengthen you in your battle against anxiety. I can definitely relate to that struggle! Thanks for stopping by and joining with us as we fight against our fears together.
Don’t you love how when God needs to drive home a point, it comes from multiple places? Was jut having the “fear” conversation with a beautiful young adult friend, and my Papa has brought it up multiple times this week! Thank you for sharing your journey, speaking truth-in-love.
Ah! So true! Our heavenly Father is so kind to keep ‘knocking’ when our hard heads aren’t getting the message. I am always a little giddy to think that He loves me enough to keep sending the message so I get it. Glad you were blessed–
Author
I can really relate to God’s persistence, too, Angela. After encountering the third sermon, blog, or program (or conversation!) on the same subject, I finally start to wise up and consider that God may want me to sit up and take notice. 🙂 I love His faithfulness in finishing the good work He began in us, to bring us to completion in Him. Thanks for joining the conversation, Angela!
Author
Congratulations, Angela! You’ve won the giveaway of Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman! I’ll contact you via email to get your details.
Beautifully told struggle that I’m sure resonates with many!
Thanks, Chondra! I do think that part of our responsibility as Christian women is to be honest in sharing our struggles. Titus 2 paints such a lovely picture of women interacting and sharing with one another.
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Well said, Chondra! Yes, we do all struggle with fear of one form or another in our lives, most of us every day. But just as we all experience fear, we can all experience God’s power and peace to overcome our fears. Thanks for stopping by to encourage others today!
Susan, thanks so much for this post! While I am not a parent, I still found your insights helpful. My struggle is trusting God not with my children, but with my future. Deep down, I’m afraid to tell God that I give Him all my hopes, desires, and dreams for my life, for fear of losing out on what I think is “best” for me. But like you pointed out, we need to speak the truth of God’s Word into such fears—because our God is a good and perfect God Who delights in giving good gifts to His children! In light of that, how can we be afraid of trusting our whole lives (and our loved ones) to Him?
Thank you again! God bless!
Yes! You hit the nail on the head. We are afraid to trust him because we think he’ll give us what’s “good for us” rather than what we desire. I liken it to knowing that broccoli is healthier, but I want the chocolate…I’m worried that he’ll give me just the broccoli. The truth is, maybe he’ll give me a little broccoli AND some chocolate. Or, maybe he’ll change my taste so I prefer broccoli. We know in our minds that He is a good Father, but our actions often show that we don’t completely trust that. Praying that we can remind each other to trust him with it all!
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I can so relate to what you’re saying, Beth. I think many of us are afraid of trusting God with our most precious dreams and desires. The thing is, though, that God actually gives us the desires of our heart! I love remembering Psalm 37:4, where we’re promised that He’ll give us our desires if we’re delighting in Him. I have a time remembering and believing it, but God does give good gifts! All the time when I take them for granted. And if we delight in Him, our deepest, dearest desires are the ones He wants us to have. Blessings on your today!
Susan
I’m a first time parent to a little 5 year old girl we adopted through foster care 2.5 years ago. I think I was so fearful that it would even go through that ive lived in shock the past 2.5 years going through the motions of parenting this beautiful little girl. I went to a parenting conference for foster and adoptive parents last year and was challenged to committ fully to parenting this child of ours without doubt and with JOY. its been a process to let go of fears and comparisons but I’m trying. Your article helped remind me of truths I needed to hear again. Thank you.
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Anna,
Your story brought me to tears this morning. How good is our God?! While we have not served through foster care, we have dear friends and family members who have and I can’t say that I’ve seen another ministry that so bares your heart. Letting go of fears and comparisons is definitely a process, and one that rears its head to remind us it’s there now and then. But the joy is in realizing when it does that trust is bigger than our fears, and each time the fear passes through town a bit more quickly leaving a bigger trust behind.
Saying a prayer for your beautiful family this morning.
All of God’s best to you-
Susan